February 16, 2004
Xtreme Ebaying
Some people like to buy knickknacks on Ebay. Some people like to buy a lot of knickknacks on Ebay. And some people function like the black holes of knickknackery, acquiring so many metric tons of ceramic gnomes and "glass art" that their homes develop their own fields of gravity and exert a small but measurable pull on the moon.
This guy's mother falls into the third camp. So he went onto the Something Awful forums and posted a handful of pictures that function as a horrified tour of his mother's house, complete with hilarious captions. The snapshot above is from his mother's living room, where she keeps her paperweight collection. But my personal favorite is the murky picture of her bedroom, which is crammed full to the ceiling with Fedex boxes. The caption:
And here's my mom's bedroom. You were probably expecting a bed or something. It's there, somewhere underneath all those boxes. My mom decided storing this stuff is more important that having a place to sleep. So where does my mom sleep? Remember that 2/3rds of a couch back in the living room? Yep, every night. No I don't know what's in any of these boxes either. Most of them are from eBay and have never been opened, just put straight on the pile.
(Thanks to Rob for this one!)
Posted by Clive Thompson at February 16, 2004 02:32 PM
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Thats a lot of junk. I wounder how long her blogroll would be if she was into MovableType instead of Ebay.
For some reason I've been going to news.google.com and searching for keyword "ebay" although I never blog about the wacky results.
Ahahahah! She'd have a blogroll that extended downwards about half a mile in virtual space.
Hey, good idea about pumping "Ebay" into Google News! There are indeed tons of crazy things that get sold there ... I just checked now and someone's selling an old Navy fighter jet.
Ha! I first saw that article while packing to move, and immediately felt a whole lot better about the amount of crap I'd pack-ratted away in the five years I lived in that apartment -- I had nothing on this woman!
I keep coming back and amaze myself how you fit words like "knicknackery", "metric tons", "ceramic gnomes", "gravity", "measureable pull" all into the same concise and clear sentence.
I'll be back for more.
That woman definitely needs psychiatric help, but alla she has is a son that has been doing nothing for years and is now only capable of putting the story on the net...
...We can't judge other people's lives and problems, but if they decide to publish it I think we are entitled to an opinion.
Sad story.
It made me tidy up my house anyway...
Jeff, the check is in the mail! You are way nice!!
Mario, yeah, I know -- I looked at those pictures, laughed, and then became slightly alarmed when I looked around my own apartment ...
Jeff....ever more amazinly, Clive talks exactly like writes. Imagine what he will produce when voice recognition software catches up to him!
A great but sad story, she seems to never go out, just sitting in front of her PC and order stuff to make her happy. sad sad sad
ken
