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The Wizard of Oz, the Wizard of Advertising
A few days ago, I posted the question: What do you call people who don’t show up on a Google search? I.E. what’s the name for the category of person who doesn’t generate even a single page hit?
Well, the nominations are coming in! A few possible ones suggested by Andrew Wu:
incognoogles
googlenaughts
googleblind
The Ungooglable
The UnRanked
… and some sent in by Lewis Gault:
google-less
the ungoogleables
Anyone got other ideas? Send ‘em in!
Meanwhile, a recent comment by my friend Maura — noting that most of her high-school friends don’t show up on Google, which is weird because “wouldn’t they at least be in some sort of online dean’s list or student newspaper?” — made me wonder: What types of things do get your name online?
We could almost work out the categories. For example, if you i) have your own web site; ii) work for a company that lists its employees on the corporate site; iii) post to any discussion boards; iv) belong to a club or association that lists its members online; v) speak or attend any event that puts its stuff online; vi) etc. etc.; then you are going to crop up on a Google search. The point being, you have to avoid doing and being an awful lot of things to stay off of Google. Though the number of North Americans who don’t appear on Google is probably still quite big, it’s diminishing every day.
Here’s a fun speculation. I wonder if at some point in the far future, the world of data (the Internet, though by then we’ll call it something else, probably) will be so huge and all-encompassing that there will be a final person who is the last one to not crop up in a major search engine? Kinda like a noosphere version of Mary Shelley’s The Last Man (or the Left Behind series, heh).
Or, even more fun, will there be people who try as hard as possible not to be Googleable? That may not be as nutty as it sounds. After all, many people going on a first date — or blind date — Google their hookup in advance, to find out as much as possible before l’affaire. Smart employers do the same. So there are tons of good reasons you may want your second existence as a gun freak, leatherman, flat-earther, Extropian or plushie to stay off the radar.
Of course, dig this: The converse is also true. If you don’t appear on Google, it can seem a little unnerving to the rest of us! It’s like being The Man Who Didn’t Exist, one of those bit characters on the X-files who doesn’t have fingerprints or a Social Security Number or whatever.
I'm Clive Thompson, a writer on science, technology, and culture. This blog collects bits of offbeat research I'm running into, and musings thereon.
Currently, I'm a contributing writer for the New York Times Magazine and a columnist for Wired magazine. I also write for Fast Company and Wired magazine's web site, among other places. Email or AOL IM me (pomeranian99) to say hi or send in something strange!
The “Milky Way Transit Authority” map
Should automobile software be open-sourced?
My Bookforum review of Jaron Lanier’s “You Are Not A Gadget”
Molecular secrets of the “iron-plated snail”
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January 31, 2010 » 07:29 PM
V. A. To me death seems to be an evil.
M. What, to those who are already dead? or to those who must die?
A. To both.
M. It is a misery, then, because an evil?
A. Certainly.
M. Then those who have already died, and those who have still got to die, are both miserable?
A. So it appears to me.
M. Then all are miserable?
A. Every one.
January 24, 2010 » 03:22 PM
One of the more interesting trends is family, which came in at number five. Specifically, discussion about family, moms, dads, daughters, etc. jumped during 2009. With Facebook users getting older, this isn’t a big surprise. However, the fact that the mention of “kids” jumped by a factor of five this year is rather dramatic. It’s tough to know what this means, though. (via Facebook Unveils Most-Mentioned Topics of 2009
)
January 15, 2010 » 01:36 PM
BEYOND AWESOME. They are announcing a recall of the Plush Uterus “due to a potential choking hazard for children”. To apply for it, “Please send an email to the address below with the subject line, ‘UTERUS OPT OUT’”.
January 14, 2010 » 10:04 PM
“To order, please TYPE “YES” IN CHECKBOX BELOW TO AGREE YOU UNDERSTAND THIS PLUSH MUST BE KEPT AWAY FROM KIDS (it is a sex organ, after all). If it is not checked, WE WILL NOT SEND THE UTERUS.” (via @ibogost)
January 11, 2010 » 01:45 PM
I watched Space: 1999 back in the day, but I swear to god I do not remember this scene.
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