collision detection: Staplers of the world, unite

July 30, 2004

Staplers of the world, unite

I just found out my stapler is broken, so I went online to find a new one. That's when I discovered "The Red Stapler", a big, heavy, old-school model by Swingline. The best part? The text that accompanies it on the Swingline web site:

Up the Revolution: The Red Stapler! Staple and be heard! WHAM-cubicles! WHAM-dress code! WHAMWHAMWHAM! By popular demand, we�re offering this desk stapler in screaming, gleaming red.

How can I not get one?

Posted by Clive Thompson at July 30, 2004 12:19 PM

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Comments

Lumbergh: Milt, we're gonna need to go ahead and move you downstairs into storage B. We have some new people coming in, and we need all the space we can get. So if you could go ahead and pack up your stuff and move it down there, that would be terrific, OK?

Milt: Excuse me, I believe you have my stapler...

Posted by: Dave Buster at July 30, 2004 12:39 PM

...And I said, I don't care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I'm, I'm quitting, I'm going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they've moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were merry, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it's not okay because if they take my stapler then I'll set the building on fire.

Posted by: Daejin at July 30, 2004 1:11 PM

Ahahhahahha!

Posted by: Clive at July 30, 2004 1:19 PM

there was an article a while back (6 months? a year?) in the WSJ, I believe, discussing how Swingline never carried a red stapler (a black one was dipped in paint for the movie), but they got so much call for it after Office Space came out that they began the line...

can you take credit for effective guerrilla marketing when a grass-roots movement is created by someone else for a product you don't even have?

Posted by: mike d at July 30, 2004 1:41 PM

Oh, I gotta read that piece!

Posted by: Clive at July 30, 2004 1:46 PM

In a past life of consulting, I would source as much as possible through Belkin, due to the humour that perforated their product descriptions. In quickly scanning through a few products it appears they've (sadly) toned it down, though I did find a marginal example linked below.
http://catalog.belkin.com/IWCatProductPage.process?Merchant_Id=&Product_Id=15150
I seem to recall their description of a Terminator had me doubled over a year or so ago...
Amazing the impact on sales and branding that a little more humour, coupled with a lot less marketing rhetoric can have.

Posted by: brian at July 30, 2004 3:18 PM

Link to the WSJ article:

http://www.improvresourcecenter.com/mb/showthread.php?t=6532

I recall seeing this reported elsewhere before the WSJ got to it.

Posted by: Mark at July 30, 2004 5:27 PM

You can get them at thinkgeek.com.

Posted by: Lisa Williams at July 31, 2004 2:26 PM

Dude, you totally bought the wrong stapler:

http://tinyurl.com/4vxuf

Posted by: Chris at August 1, 2004 12:55 PM

If you like staplers, you'll love this:

http://www.virtualstapler.com/

My favorite is the faux-woodgrain number.

Posted by: CT at August 1, 2004 2:56 PM

Brian: hell yes, if the text to more catalogues were wittier, I'd impulse-buy way more stuff!

As to the other posts: Okay, those staple-less staples are excellent!! And the Virtual Stapler is simply majestic. I particularly prefer the clicka-clicka noise of the model in the middle.

Posted by: Clive at August 1, 2004 6:13 PM

I can't believe you went online to buy a stapler. I need to work on my nerdiness.

Posted by: Jeff Liu at August 5, 2004 4:06 PM

I got one more than a year ago. I don't know what they look like today, but they got "Office Space Red" totally wrong. Mine's more of a tomato-soup red. Anyway, it's a solid piece of machinery. Wham indeed.

Posted by: redux at August 12, 2004 11:03 AM

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