WNT 2 GT L8D? Why text-messaging encourages quick hook-ups

There's a brilliant sex column in this week's New York magazine that argues an interesting point: SMS text-messaging encourages New Yorkers to have more quick hook-ups, because it eases the emotional risk thereof. To quote:
It's just the right level of intrusiveness: Your target gets the message even in a noisy bar, but unlike a phone call, it won't wake him up from a snooze in front of The Daily Show. You can successfully express interest, but texting's short format allows you to maintain an air of aloofness. And text rejection is much easier to get (and give) than struggling through an awkward booty phone call.
"It's by far the best way to set up a sex date," says Kate, a 34-year-old designer in the East Village. "No worrying if your voice sounds needy or desperate or neurotic. In texts you can be blunt, erotic, funny -- all the things you want to be."
Texting isn't just easy -- it's sexy too. By its very nature, texting is quick and dirty, so you can get away with MY PLACE OR YOURS? and nothing else. Plus the very private can happen in public -- call it exhibitionism for the shy.
New technologies, of course, are always harnessed most aggressively at first for the purpose of porn: The photograph begat nekkid 19th-century pictures, moving pictures begat more of the same, and the first corporations to launch voice-mail technology en masse were phone-dating services like Lavalife. I'd been waiting for someone to start offering porn via SMS texting, but I clearly was missing the point. The value of texting is in mediating relations between two live people -- not delivering static ASCII smut.
(I should probably point out that for this posting I've used a photo of a mobile-phone that appears to be so ancient it predates the invention of SMS, and possibly of electricity.)
(Thanks to Emily Nussbaum for this one!)
Posted by Clive Thompson at March 31, 2006 03:31 PM
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As someone who has used text messaging for this very purpose, I can say YES. It removes all the emotional attachment and awkwardness (well, some people are akward no matter what the medium). Just make sure you erase your old messages, especially your pics :)
Posted by: Jasontheperson at March 31, 2006 5:46 PM
Posted by: Clive at March 31, 2006 6:18 PM
Hah, way to let your subscription to Photodisc lapse, Clive. I'm pretty sure porn has made it to the iPod, cell phones can't be far behind. Can you believe how much people are paying for ringtones?? It's something like $3bn a year industry. Totally out of control. But what's going to happen when your ring tone can be Gwen Stafani saying, "Hey baby, I love vibrating for you."
On second thought, now I wish that we still lived in the times when that cell phone picture was current.
Posted by: Peter at April 1, 2006 12:07 AM
I don't know if I'm embarrased or proud of it, but at least finally I found the forum to tell someone this: When I finally got my first mobile (in 2001 - years after all of my friends) - I actually had sex with the very first person to send me an sms. Technology c e r t a i n l y influences my life, anyway.
Posted by: eke at April 1, 2006 9:16 AM
Booty-texting is the best thing since sliced bread and the Rabbit (YOU know the one I'm talkin' bout).
Posted by: Answer Bunny at April 1, 2006 1:17 PM
I just heard a report on the radio last week here in Sydney, Australia that people are more likely to download porn onto their mobiles than their blackberrys. Something about seperating business from pleasure. Whatever gets your tone ringing.
Posted by: cale at April 3, 2006 9:03 AM
Heh. Peter, yes, I didn't mean to imply that phone-porn didn't exist! Migod, not with an audience that huge, heh.
Posted by: Clive at April 4, 2006 10:12 AM
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As someone who has used text messaging for this very purpose, I can say YES. It removes all the emotional attachment and awkwardness (well, some people are akward no matter what the medium). Just make sure you erase your old messages, especially your pics :)
Posted by: Jasontheperson
at March 31, 2006 5:46 PM
Ahahahahaha
Posted by: Clive
at March 31, 2006 6:18 PM
Hah, way to let your subscription to Photodisc lapse, Clive. I'm pretty sure porn has made it to the iPod, cell phones can't be far behind. Can you believe how much people are paying for ringtones?? It's something like $3bn a year industry. Totally out of control. But what's going to happen when your ring tone can be Gwen Stafani saying, "Hey baby, I love vibrating for you."
On second thought, now I wish that we still lived in the times when that cell phone picture was current.
Posted by: Peter
at April 1, 2006 12:07 AM
I don't know if I'm embarrased or proud of it, but at least finally I found the forum to tell someone this: When I finally got my first mobile (in 2001 - years after all of my friends) - I actually had sex with the very first person to send me an sms. Technology c e r t a i n l y influences my life, anyway.
Posted by: eke
at April 1, 2006 9:16 AM
Booty-texting is the best thing since sliced bread and the Rabbit (YOU know the one I'm talkin' bout).
Posted by: Answer Bunny
at April 1, 2006 1:17 PM
I just heard a report on the radio last week here in Sydney, Australia that people are more likely to download porn onto their mobiles than their blackberrys. Something about seperating business from pleasure. Whatever gets your tone ringing.
Posted by: cale
at April 3, 2006 9:03 AM
Heh. Peter, yes, I didn't mean to imply that phone-porn didn't exist! Migod, not with an audience that huge, heh.
Posted by: Clive
at April 4, 2006 10:12 AM