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Apparently, a bunch of researchers in Germany have been attempting to figure out what cows mean when they moo. Obviously, some moos are cows asking to be milked, or denoting that they’re in pain. But the scientists are wondering what else there is. Do cows say shit like, “how’s it going” or “dig that sunset” or anything?
One of the biggest challenges in doing this research is that you need to record lots and lots of cow “utterances”. And the thing is — cows don’t actually talk very often. You have to record, like, seventeen hours of total silence before one of them actually moos.
Dr. Gerhard Jahns, a control engineer who helped devise the project, said that about 700 “vocalizations” were recorded from about 20 cows, a process he described as “extremely time-consuming.” Cows can go for hours without making a sound, Dr. Jahns said, “and it’s hard to get them to speak into the microphone.”
People say cows are really peaceful, but I don’t agree. I used to hang out on my Ukranian grandfather’s farm in Ontario and the cows kind of terrified me. For one thing, they’re huge.
Interesting side note: For $230, you can now buy a “Bowlingual,” which uses a neural-net-trained algorithm to determine what your dog is saying when it barks.
I'm Clive Thompson, a writer on science, technology, and culture. This blog collects bits of offbeat research I'm running into, and musings thereon.
Currently, I'm a contributing writer for the New York Times Magazine and a columnist for Wired magazine. I also write for Fast Company and Wired magazine's web site, among other places. Email or AOL IM me (pomeranian99) to say hi or send in something strange!
The “Milky Way Transit Authority” map
Should automobile software be open-sourced?
My Bookforum review of Jaron Lanier’s “You Are Not A Gadget”
Molecular secrets of the “iron-plated snail”
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January 31, 2010 » 07:29 PM
V. A. To me death seems to be an evil.
M. What, to those who are already dead? or to those who must die?
A. To both.
M. It is a misery, then, because an evil?
A. Certainly.
M. Then those who have already died, and those who have still got to die, are both miserable?
A. So it appears to me.
M. Then all are miserable?
A. Every one.
January 24, 2010 » 03:22 PM
One of the more interesting trends is family, which came in at number five. Specifically, discussion about family, moms, dads, daughters, etc. jumped during 2009. With Facebook users getting older, this isn’t a big surprise. However, the fact that the mention of “kids” jumped by a factor of five this year is rather dramatic. It’s tough to know what this means, though. (via Facebook Unveils Most-Mentioned Topics of 2009
)
January 15, 2010 » 01:36 PM
BEYOND AWESOME. They are announcing a recall of the Plush Uterus “due to a potential choking hazard for children”. To apply for it, “Please send an email to the address below with the subject line, ‘UTERUS OPT OUT’”.
January 14, 2010 » 10:04 PM
“To order, please TYPE “YES” IN CHECKBOX BELOW TO AGREE YOU UNDERSTAND THIS PLUSH MUST BE KEPT AWAY FROM KIDS (it is a sex organ, after all). If it is not checked, WE WILL NOT SEND THE UTERUS.” (via @ibogost)
January 11, 2010 » 01:45 PM
I watched Space: 1999 back in the day, but I swear to god I do not remember this scene.
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