This story recently ran on the Associated Press — but could very easily have appeared in The Onion:

After months of asking for a new telephone number, the Kentucky Mountain Bible College has finally dropped the 666 prefix that disturbed Christians who recognized it as the biblical mark of the beast.

“We’re just elated that the number has been changed,” said Rob Roy MacGregor, the college’s vice president of business affairs. “It was like we had this Scarlet Letter attached to us.”

The 666 prefix had been the only one available in Vancleve since telephone service arrived here. The need for more phone lines forced telephone companies to add new numbers, and the college tried for several months to get the new 693 prefix.

In the Book of Revelation, 666 is stamped into people’s foreheads or right hands during the last days. Those who receive the mark, according to Scripture, are damned to eternal punishment.

MacGregor said the beast represents Satan. True Christians, he said, will not accept the mark.