You’ve undoubtedly heard about the battle of the bulge — the arguments over that weird lump on George W. Bush’s back during the debates. Critics say that it’s a radio receiver feeding him lines from an earpiece, which would explain his odd penchant for, when asked a question, stumbling around for words initially, then breaking off, staring into the distance, and then suddenly coming out with a terse, pithy proclamation. (It’s also a well-observed problem amongst neophyte newscasters that when someone is reading lines into your earpiece, it’s very hard to keep from shifting your eyes around; and when he’s answering questions at a press conference, Bush shifts his eyes around with a drama so cartoonish that it wouldn’t be out of place in a silent movie.) However, Bush and his advisors categorically deny he’s wired, and say the bulge is nothing more than bad tailoring.

The latest salvo comes literally from a rocket scientist. Robert Nelson is a senior research scientist for NASA and Caltech’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory, and a globally recognized expert in image analysis. (Currently he’s studying pictures of the Saturnian moon Titan.) Nelson got interested in Bush’s bulge and began doing image analysis of a videotape of Bush, taken by one of Nelson’s colleagues. The scientist’s conclusion? As he told Salon:

“I would think it’s very hard to avoid the conclusion that there’s something underneath his jacket,” he says. “It would certainly be consistent with some kind of radio receiver and a wire.”

Given how politicized this issue is, Nelson — a self-described Kerry supporter — will probably face enormous derision for even bothering to study this. But as he says: “If they force me into an early retirement, it’ll be worth it if the public knows about this. It’s outrageous statements that I read that the president is wearing nothing under there. There’s clearly something there.”

(Thanks to Boing Boing for this one!)