The female Turing Test

… or are you just happy to see me?

A few years ago, I wanted to go to a Hallowe’en party dressed as my subconscious. For the costume, I’d simply wear one of my usual suits — except around my neck I’d hang a scrolling LED sign that would randomly display a few dozen messages, such as “Did I forget to turn off the oven?”, “Holy moses I’m bored” and “Up up left right A B B”. Unfortunately, I couldn’t get a working sign in time for the party, so it all came to naught.

You can thus imagine my delight today when I discovered the Scrolling Pants Belt Buckle — which displays the subconscious of your, ah, midsection. From the web site:

Is this for real?

Yes. In fact, here’s a video to prove so.

Can I program it with custom phrases?
Yep. It can hold up to six unique messages at a time, with each message being 256 characters long. You can change these messages at any time.

This is just beyond superb. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again — there simply isn’t enough innovation in the area of pants technology. The last major breakthrough was in 2003, when Dockers introduced its stain-resistant “nanopants”. But otherwise, the field’s wide open, people!

(Thanks to the Book of Joe for this one!)

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I'm Clive Thompson, the author of Smarter Than You Think: How Technology is Changing Our Minds for the Better (Penguin Press). You can order the book now at Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Powells, Indiebound, or through your local bookstore! I'm also a contributing writer for the New York Times Magazine and a columnist for Wired magazine. Email is here or ping me via the antiquated form of AOL IM (pomeranian99).

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