That's how my friend El Rey described these lamps in the email he sent to me -- and I can find no way to disagree. Alas, I also can't find any way to buy one of these insanely gorgeous retro creations, created by Frank Buchwald. Though maybe that's a good thing, because they probably cost $10,000, and I'd probably still try to buy one, and my kid wouldn't go to college.

Man alive this stuff rocks. I want this guy to design everything I own. I want him to design me an electric guitar powered by steam.

(Thanks to El Rey for this one!)