For several months now, Electronic Gaming Monthly Magazine has been running a series of gutsplittingly hilarious Q&As — where they take games, find an ironically weird bunch of people to play them, and transcribe the results. A few months ago, they had a former mafia boss play a couple of true-crime games like Grand Theft Auto, with predictably surreal results.

But now they’ve done something even wittier: They took a gaggle of pre-teens and sat them down to play the classics of early gaming, such as Pong, Space Invaders, and Electronic Football. I won’t bother describing them; they’re just too funny. An excerpt from the reaction to Donkey Kong:

Tim: Mario dies way too easy. Oh, grab the umbrella. Those are cool. Unfashionable, gay, but cool. Oh, 300 points. That’s it? All you get is points? That’s lame. Can’t you do something with the umbrella?

Tim: They just put totally random stuff here for points. Oh, you’ve got an umbrella. You’ve got a purse.

EGM: Who’s that chick Mario is rescuing up there?

Brian: It’s Princess Peach.

Kirk: It’s a hooker.

Niko: She looks cut in half.

Tim: Oh wow—she’s one of those pole dancers.

(Thanks to El Rey for this one also!)