When I was a kid, one of the greatest joys of the TV series Lost in Space was watching the interactions between Dr. Zachary Smith and the robot. Smith would lose his shit about every two or three minutes and hurl an insult at the machine. Since the show ran for three years, that’s a whole lot of name-calling — as the folks at Promised Planet discovered, when they watched all the episodes and transcribed every single epipthet in an alphabetized list. It’s online here, and this is a sample:

cackling cracker-barrel
cybernetic simpleton
dehumanized lie-dispenser
ferrous Frankenstein
fugitive from a junkyard
hardware hyena
incompetent walking ingot
misguided mechanical misery
servile mechanism
tin-plated traitor
veritable transistorized tiger

That’s only a small fraction; there are a couple hundred epithets there! Someone should perform that at a poetry reading.

(Thanks to El Rey for this one too!)