Be a Tiger

This blog will now be known as the “Oubliette of Sepulchral Chaos”

One of my favorite parts of early, monster-infested first-person shooters was the names they’d give to the levels. Every time I reached a new level in Quake — “Dimension of the Doomed”, “House of Chthon”, “The Ebon Fortress” — I would quiver with laughter at the I’m-being-ironic-well-maybe-I’m-not aesthetic of John Romero.

Thus, I was thrilled to discover the “First-Person Shooter Level Name Generator”. Pick the style of your imaginary level — “military”, “gothic”, “alien”, “industrial”, etc. — the various other vectors (such as whether it’s characterized by “slime” or “fire”, or whether it contains “Satanic words” or “Lovecraftian words”), and presto: It churns out a stylin’ level name. I quickly generated such delights as …

Entering Azathoth’s Sepulchral Corridors

Zeus’ Forbidden Zone

In Yog-Sothoth’s Citadel of Hate

Crumbling Keep of Torment

Cathedral of Sickening Ruin

You could probably use this thing to generate the name for your next corporate project.

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I'm Clive Thompson, the author of Smarter Than You Think: How Technology is Changing Our Minds for the Better (Penguin Press). You can order the book now at Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Powells, Indiebound, or through your local bookstore! I'm also a contributing writer for the New York Times Magazine and a columnist for Wired magazine. Email is here or ping me via the antiquated form of AOL IM (pomeranian99).

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